Break of silence

by Jennie

What did I learn from my hike? I remembered the importance of connecting to humans and nature without modern technology. Long story short, it didn’t motivate me to write or post things online. But here I am now, breaking my silence for you, because I have some epic stories to share.

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To be a spirit on the road, who finds comfort in simply being, is a rare gift, for the lonely world of task driven shells is always there to whisk winds of turmoil.

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Most blog posts are about the positive, day to day travel and training of ski racers. As much as I like to hold on to a positive vibe, I wanted to reach out and jot down thoughts on a mentality that is floating around many skiers post Olympic year.

Sitting on a shuttle on my way to a new adventure, I remember why I decided to keep skiing. Lifestyle, adventure, redemption, possibility, mystery. Because frequently I taste test how it feels to be a non-skier, and many times it’s too tempting. Or too logical? Perhaps at the time, more reasonable. Is it quitting, or is it losing interest? Then there is the frustration. This has been a question nagging me since I got back from my hiking trip. One must swallow defeat, in order to enjoy how sweet victory tastes. And victory tastes good. But defeat, will sink a ship with each wave that crashes on board. The more waves you endure, the harder it is to keep afloat. Many ships sunk this season post the Olympics, or did they sail off into the vast ocean? I still can’t answer. In a blink of an eye, I am being asked if I will keep going. We commit so much time, mental effort, physical excursion to grow and harvest this seed of sport that can be only be described as an addiction. The addiction to see what can be. Post Olympic year takes away many athletes, who committed much of their young adulthood to growing a passion. However, when “what could have been” overtakes any positive outcome, the tides turn, and waves come crashing in. So do you bail the boat out, or enjoy the fresh smell of the tide?

There have been a few changes to BSF this spring. A sequence of events that were not related and snow balled at once, like they tend to do, and we quickly went through two coach transitions. A programs worst enemy is fast turnover, but everyone has their own prerogative. For some of us, these change ups were a small wave, and for others, it was the last wave. Man overboard, or did he jump off to swim to sanity? I still don’t know. Either way, there is everything one needs here in Bozeman Montana to succeed, it just requires an extra helping of personal motivation. The elite team is small, but the program itself is stellar, and every day while sharing pavement with the juniors, I have been reminding myself what sort of role model I want to be. The kind that is personable, and not un-touchable. To be accessible is at least something I can give to one group in my life, since I cant seem to offer it to many others. It’s exciting to see potential in juniors, as well as feel when others see potential in you. Potential is fuel for the fire. And the fire in this soul still burns strong.

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Keep posted for an update from the Haig, and our BSF Canmore training camp (:

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