Observations of a Traveler

by Jennie

Observations of a Traveler

Thoughts that should be kept to myself…. but I wrote down to share anyway 

If you want to study sociology, go to an airport by yourself.

(Picture from internet)

Reasons that Southwest is the paradise of airlines.

–        Everyone is happier here.  They say smiling is contagious, and I believe this to be true. There are large pictures of Southwest staff actors smiling and waving as you board your plane, and as I look at each one’s hypothetically candid happy emotion, I smile inside at the thought of what the scene was as they took those pictures. Was there actually something making them smile, or were they standing in front of an awkward  “say cheese, wave and be happy” green screen?

–        The flight attendants are dressed in what looks like comfortable yet nice clothing that would therefore make one more pleasant.

–        No bag fees. Enough said.

–        You get in line with priority depending on how on top of your shit you are. If you checked in early, you get in the plane early. Easy peasy.

–        Tickets are cheaper, lines are shorter, and overhead baggage compartments are wide and deep. And people (except for me) are not as worried about packing everything into their carry-on because there is no baggage fee, so seemingly more overhead room.


Airport amusements 

–        Why do people wear sunglasses inside? I saw at least three people in Denver in a half hour walking around inside with sunglasses. It might be sunny outside, but you’re trapped in here with the rest of us with no outside option for a nice breather. And you are getting on a plane soon. Yes, I know you feel cool with aviators, but we don’t live in the Matrix, at least not yet.

–        Ladies that wear high heeled shoes. I am not talking about a little height, but dressy stilettos or anything above an inch.  I never know if you are crazy, or just have such a mature fashion sense beyond my comprehension.  Yes there is a lot of sitting, but when I fly I usually need to be prepared to run, just in case.

–        That being said, I think that’s one of my main life theories, always be able to run at any given time. This applies to many life factors: safety, ability to partake in spontaneous events, timeliness, comfort, exercise, and other reasons  I am not thinking of.

–        People watching is great, but I don’t need to tell you that.

–        Men in cowboy hats; I want to see where you come from.

–        Single women traveling with two or more kids, I don’t envy you, that looks rough. Seriously, way to go.  Don’t be offended if I sit far away.

–        Why do 90% of women over 55 years old cut their hair above shoulder to chin length, and over 65 just decided to chop it all off? It once was rebellious, but now it’s just the generic sign of being old.  You are one step away from a pant suit.

–        I find it interesting to see what type of people are flying to where I am going. What are their demographics, fitness level, age, and my initial impression of occupation? There is a book all about this concept called Blink that is quite interesting.  First impressions are a real thing.

–        Do people look you in the eye? What type of person does, and what are you doing to engage this action, if anything? I would like to think it’s because I look hot today, but I think it’s because they are looking at my large carryon bag or random foreign ski related gear hanging from my arm.  Yes Ma’am, these are space boots, in fact.

–        Speaking of, hey, don’t judge me and my bags.  I am packing for a three week summer AND winter training camp, to a place I have never been.  I brought a lot of shit.  It will make up for your extra 60 pounds of gut and barking handbag.

–        If you sneeze or cough, for the sake of everything and everyone on this planet, cover your mouth. You are throwing your atmospheric  trash in my face.

–        Sometimes I am amazed at how I get to where I need to go on my own. I suppose that’s all part of growing up and having the comfort of being lead around by the hand disappear (literally and metaphorically).  Once you embrace it, it’s quite liberating, but I still wonder….

–        The piano in the Minneapolis airport near baggage claim. Play it. Just do it. It’s awesome. Just don’t mess up too badly, that’s embarrassing.

–        I don’t know how many times I have witnessed the acting and speech of the safety rules before the plane takes off. I have even read over the pamphlet.  I still will freak the hell out if those masks come flying down or I have to pull a door off an airplane.

          Do you ever picture scenarios and what you would do? I do this quite often, but not necessarily picturing what I should be…. “Oh Jennie, you’re talking about imaging a race course and what you might do if something happens?” Yeah yeah, that too, but I am talking about like, what if I just licked this metal bathroom stall wall? What if I just started winking at people? What if I just opened the door and jumped out of this plane? Or, which one of these people might I expect most to jump up with a gun or knife, and would I be able to kick it out of his/her hand? I don’t think I can get my leg that high. Perhaps I would just punch him in the face or private parts. I feel that it would be really satisfying to just go all Rambo on the person, and I think man with cowboy hat in front of me would be feeling the same. He would have my back. I bet a lot of people these days actually are more aware of the action they would have to take if such thing occurred.

–        Wedding rings and man rings in general. If you pay attention, the bling will surprise you.

Somehow, I get away with way more carry on than I should

Written on my bus ride from Portland to Bend, where the fellow next to me continued to watch me nap and talk about how crazy Tokyo prostitutes were. If you have read this far, bravo.


  1. Neil
    21 May 12, 3:52am

    Thanks for the “bravo” and the observations 🙂

  2. 17 August 13, 9:48am

    Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and
    I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you aided me.

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